


I Need More

by 15dogs



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Based on a Beach Bunny Song, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Dating, F/F, Jealousy, Last Kiss, Miscommunication, Oneshot, Secret Relationship, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28600845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/15dogs/pseuds/15dogs
Summary: Hermione never seems to want you the way you want her, even if she claims that you’re dating.(based on sports by beach bunny!)
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Reader, Hermione Granger/You
Kudos: 31





	I Need More

**Author's Note:**

> cross-posted from tumblr (@15-dogs)

_ If you feel lonely, _

_ I could be lonely with you. _

You and Hermione were alone in the common room, your lips ghosting over hers. You nudged her nose with your own and she groaned at how close you were. It was so tempting but she didn’t want to give in.

“What’s wrong?” you teased, feigning innocence. “Are you okay?”

“(Y/N),” she groaned. 

Her head teetered forward towards your lips, waiting for you to make the first move. You chuckled, carding your hand through her bushy hair. She looked impossibly adorable with her lip pouted, waiting for you to kiss her. A part of you felt bad for holding out on her but you kept confirming to yourself that you needed to. 

Hermione explained that she didn’t want to go public about your relationship, what your “relationship” was. That never bothered you. She could take all the time in the world if she needed to and you were always going to be sure that you wanted her. But as time went on, you weren’t even sure that she wanted you. You initiated every romantic encounter and some days it felt like she wasn’t even trying to make whatever you two were work. She was always confident in everything she did, so why wasn’t she confident in your relationship?

Hermione began to drift towards your lips, your eyes fluttering shut and a blissed out smile stretching across your lips. As soon as you met that peace, Hermione gasped and shoved you off with a hurried, “Sorry.”

That was not a strange occurrence, but it certainly wasn’t welcomed.

“Somebody’s coming,” she whispered as she flattened her clothing and smoothed out the spot in the couch you had just sat on.

“Right,” you grumbled as you fell into the chair across from her. You yanked a notebook from the bag that sat beside the chair, doodling aimlessly as you pretended to be working.

_ Tell me, baby, _

_ why do you seem so blue? _

Hermione shot you a pained look as the door to the common room swung open. Harry and Ron tumbled out, joking about something that you were too distracted to listen to.

Harry flashed a kind smile at you as he fell into the chair across from you while Ron sunk into the spot next to Hermione. You were trying so hard not to look up but you almost couldn’t help it. You could hear Hermione’s harmonic laugh-- the one that she always did when you told a joke-- and saw Ron joking with her as she did her homework.

_ Why are we so complicated? _

_ Maybe love is overrated. _

Your heart ached for her. It was selfish, you knew that, wanting to take her away from Ron and hold her in your arms but the thought consumed your body. You just wanted people to know how much you cared for Hermione. You wanted Hermione herself to know. Sometimes it felt like she didn’t.

But the more you thought about it, the less you could blame yourself. You put your everything into the relationship you had with her and she just...didn’t. And for the first time in your months of seeing Hermione you began to feel like things were too broken to fix.

A thought began to stir in your head. A thought that couldn’t be answered by anyone but Hermione. So you waited for everyone to go off to their common rooms, lying to Ron and Harry about why you and Hermione were staying up late.

“I just wanted to review for the N.E.W.T.s and whatnot,” you claimed. Hermione looked over at you, subtly quirking her brow before turning back to the boys with a smile. “We’ll see you tomorrow. Night, Harry, Ron.”

The two friends mumbled their goodnights to you two, stumbling up the stairs in tired stupor. As soon as they were gone, you slid onto the couch next to Hermione.

“What’s going on, (Y/N)?”

You took in a sobering breath, meeting her concerned gaze as you pushed through the constricting feeling on your throat. “What are we, ‘Mione?”

She blinked in surprise. “I don’t understand.”

“What are we?” you repeated. “Because it doesn’t feel like you’re my girlfriend. And if you don’t want to be, that’s fine! Just please, tell me.”

Her mouth shot open to protest but faltered. She sat in silence, pondering what you had said, her brow creasing with concern.

You couldn’t take it anymore. You picked up your bag and made your way up to the dorms, feeling tears prick the corners of your eyes. You heard her feet padding up the stairs behind you until she grabbed you by the elbow.

“Just give me some time,” she whispered, “just a little time.”

You nodded, knowing that no amount of time was going to change her answer to your question.

_ I’m tired of waiting, _

_ I was never good at sports. _

It had been a few days and you had yet to hear from Hermione. She seemed to be perfectly content with ignoring you and you had to pretend that your heart didn’t break a little each time she did.

You had no idea what you were holding out for. Somewhere deep inside your heart you hoped that Hermione would tell you how she felt, tell you that she was mad for you and she would try harder to make things work but you knew it was impossible, not when she couldn’t look you in the eye.

_ Save the games for the girls on the tennis courts. _

It came down to another night in the common room. Harry and Ron had gone to bed, leaving just you and Hermione there. You stared at her perfectly sculpted face, scolding yourself for the butterflies in your stomach when you knew nothing good was about to come.

The room was silent save for the wood crackling the fireplace. Hermione cleared her throat, finally looking up at you.

“Are we going to do this now?” she asked, timid.

You were shaking. Everything led up to this spectacular moment of ruin, a colosseum on its last pillars ready to collapse.

“Yes, I think we need to.”

_ Say you need me, _

_ but lately, you feel unsure. _

Hermione shook her head. You could barely look at her. There was too much pain swimming behind her eyes. She swallowed hard. 

“What do you want from me?”

Your breathing became jagged out your nose. That terrible choking feeling grew tighter around your throat, preventing you from saying what you needed to say. You ran a hand down your face, closing your eyes for a fraction of a second.

“I just want you to want  _ me. _ ”

Hermione scoffed. “But I  _ do _ want-”

“Do you?” The words flew out of you before you had time to think about them. Hermione’s chocolate eyes glassed over and a sinking feeling appeared in your stomach. “Because if I thought that you did, then we wouldn’t be here-- we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

Hermione tucked her legs underneath her, tugging her sweater tighter around her chest. She chewed her bottom lip, her long lashes fluttering as she processed your words. After a silence that lasted an eternity, she spoke up, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I’m sorry.”

And it was then you knew your worst nightmare was confirmed.

You stood up from the couch, thumbing the hem of your cardigan as you approached Hermione, taking a seat next to her on the couch. She looked up at you, all sorrow and innocence, and reached out to link your hands. You took the invitation with a wry exhale, leaning in for the very last time to place a kiss against her chapped lips. 

Energy coursed through you, but not in the way it used to. Kissing Hermione, as cliche as it sounds, used to be like fireworks being set off or electricity in your veins, but that last kiss was like the final embers of a fire going out or the spine of an old book cracking as you closed it, never to be opened again.

You rested your forehead against hers, relishing in that last moment.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to get over you Hermione.”

And with that, you ascended the staircase to the dorms, the taste of her on your lips.

_ Come on to me, come on to me, _

_ I need more. _

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr (@15-dogs) and wattpad (@15dogs)!!


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